She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
