Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
