we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
