On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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