I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
