you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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