I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
