youre lurking in front of me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
