Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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