it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
