There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
