but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
