How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
