If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
