please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
