We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's like iHOP with fire
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
