So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
