my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
