I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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