dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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