I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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