Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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