i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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