this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
