Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
