Swine flu. Run for my life!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
