some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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