do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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