so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you had me at cake vodka
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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