Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
