OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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