The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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