She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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