Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
