but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
