At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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