The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
