The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
