Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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