I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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