I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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