Where did you get a picture of my penis
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
