Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
