it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
