i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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