I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
