i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
