I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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