Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
