Michael Bay diarrhea
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
