My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
