apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
